O' how others tell me to quit beating myself up....
ever assuring me of GOD'S LOVE .....
'N of HIS using this one.
I am so aware of the spirit warring against the desires of the flesh...
o' so much hasn't been put to death yet.
O' FATHER GOD....why do YOU ever provide a stream of water....
know that YOU see how often ,this one falters.
The heart's desire is to be holy ,yet fail to be so according to my thinking
fail to show compassion...as am shown by THEE so abundantly...
'n THOU knows that of the child's ever struggling with THEE.
Often feel like a yo-yo.....the string going up 'n down.....
or as if on an out of control merry-go-round.
Then there's the foe that sees the falterings, 'n stumblings also,
often feel as if not in 1 ...but in-between 2 war zones !
Seems as if am ever repenting , while the foe just stands 'n laughs...
as if he is saying.....this one won't last ...too narrow is the path.
Heavy words expressed......wonder if others ever feel like that ?
Here I am again o' Lord....with a down cast soul....
faded has become the strength of one now old...
stretched out before THEE, bearing another heavy load.
Another time of not being able to dance, with a song....
weeping has returned...as cry out up to THY THRONE....
o' my LORD.....only THOU can restore , 'n make whole !
Knew not that someday would become as putty in THY HANDS.....
or that would experience endless times of being so sad.....
ever running unto YOU, to restore the song 'n dance.
In the shower went once again as always do, crying out to my LORD.....
let this spirit arise just once more.....
refresh with THINE oil.....let it outpour, as heavy is the pain that bore...
feel as a woman laboring...waiting for the new life of a child to be born.
How many times get all in order, thinking the time of end is here....
that for this one ....the chill of the grave is drawing near.
But fear not dying as did for so long....as living is harder unto me....
o' the godly fear of knowing how often fail to bring Glory unto THEE...
o' the soul knows that in THY love am made perfect....
yet.....o' the things of vanity...in action or speech.
How many times ....truly have to repent of these !
Am sure that some will not understand, this load so heavy....
but know that maybe will be understood, by others in laboring !
In these times of worldly laughter, jokes, 'n fun.....
godly fear has no place ,so unaware of the end that will definitely come....
for all they think upon is what now can be enjoyed under the Sun....
not aware of the struggles of many that focus in on "THY WILL" being done.
Why o' my GOD...so late in life, came awareness of YOU...
why did YOU choose one so very Unschooled ?
Yet in this life, have lived thru things that would turn others stomachs,
not a nurse...but one that has dealt with situations unbelievable....
have experienced almost all !
Have for years written poems, expressing endless thoughts.....
but unless in these shoes...another walks....
will never know the terrible battles fought.
Hear a lot of what others have been thru......
each has a story, whereby can relate too....
but fear that the Schooled are missing out upon real life's duels.
If no war front to enter....how can know the scars...the wounds...
how can any truly understand, unless wear the same type of shoes...
'n in came thoughts... upon the SAVIOUR, WHO left it all to do so......
'n of how HE spent nights away talking with the FATHER, all alone....
even in Matt.4.....was sent Ministering Angels.....
as well as in the Garden...to strengthen HIM in HIS final role.
What a perfect Example....left for ones in War zones !
Yes, are in a School......it is one that never graduate from.....
not til' death or if first..... JESUS comes.......
that is why cry out to the HEAVENS above, when faint become....
for have learned from all that our SAVIOUR did ,as the Beloved Son !
HE is the Best Teacher that teaches the weary ones
Poems By Connie Bartlett
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